Sticks and Stones

Whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" obviously never had a harsh word spoken to them.  Especially not a harsh word from an unexpected place that once was considered a safe zone, a place of security.

As children, we respond with this catchy string of words, claiming that a lie is truth.  We've been hurt.  But we won't admit it.  So we claim to be immune to words that cut deep and cause us to bleed.  And eventually, those cuts turn into scars that leave us jaded in some way or another.

I'm sure that, if I were to ask you, you could come up with at least one example of a time where someone spoke something to you--whether out of malice or not, intentional or unintentional--that left a stinging mark.  And I'm sure that, if I asked you to think a little bit more, you could come up with another example where that stinging response from someone came from someone you trusted, someone you thought was your safe zone or your security blanket.  Because the truth is, we live in a world full of humans.  And humans have unloving moments.

But we have a choice when we're faced with the reality that, not only do sticks and stones break bones, but that words truly do hurt.

Either we can lash out.

Or we can step back long enough to breathe, acknowledge and surrender the hurt, and then question how we can extend grace and forgiveness towards the offender--even if they never apologize.

Can I be honest with you?

It's not easy to choose the second choice.  It's not easy to bite your tongue or refrain from lashing back.  It's not easy to say, "I forgive you," before being prompted by an apology.  It's not easy to realize that you have no idea why someone said what they said or did what they did to you and still extend grace.  It's not easy to not burn with anger on the inside or seek revenge when someone has hurt you and doesn't even seem to care that they did so.  And sometimes we don't make the right choice and we choose to extol hurt upon the hurter, leading us down a vicious circular path.  And it's all a part of this beautiful disarray of a journey that each and every one of us is on.  We are on a learning curve.  Sometimes we'll get it right.  Sometimes we won't.

May I share a few things with you?

If someone says you are a failure...  Remind yourself that you are victorious in Christ.  If someone says you are a coward...  Remind yourself that God makes you brave.  If someone says you are weak...  Remind yourself that God chose the weak things to shame the strong.  If someone says you are not enough...  I am here to tell you that you are indeed enough, so much so that Jesus is willing to leave the 99 to come find you.  If someone says that you give up too easily...  Remind yourself that there is a time to keep searching and a time to give up as lost.  If someone says you're not smart enough...  Remind yourself that God uses the foolish things to confound the wise.  Whatever they may say to you, remember that they do not define you.  

And please remember this...

Whatever the harsh words are that someone is whispering or screaming into your soul, you do still have a choice.