Do you ever look at yourself and think, "How on earth did I get here?" Like... "How on earth did I ever make it to adulthood? How am I--me, this person--adulting?"
I was standing in my kitchen this afternoon, getting ready to brew myself another pot of coffee (because let's face it...I'm addicted), and the thought hit me:
This is my house. This is my coffee pot. This is me. This is my hand holding the carafe. This is my person about to pour the water into the BUNN. Me. WHAT THE....
Crazy, right?
Or maybe not...
I can remember yearning for adulthood as a child. I'd always make comments, "I can't wait until I'm grown up, and..." Sound familiar? We're all so anxious to grow up and be "adults" until we actually get there. And then we get there, and we're like, "Woah..." Am I right? You feeling me? You picking up what I'm putting down here?
Some days I just don't want to adult. I feel like I don't have the courage or the strength or the determination... I don't want the responsibilities that come with being an adult. And my highly caffeinated self sometimes thinks I wouldn't need all that coffee if I could shirk some of the adult things. (No, I'm just kidding. We needs the coffee!!)
But as weird or crazy as it may sound to suddenly have such a thought strike you as you're getting ready to brew a pot of coffee, the truth remains that life can be a sneaky booger that springs adulthood on you in a whirlwind and before you know it, you're knee deep in it! I mean... Just in the past 1.5 years, I've gotten married, moved twice, bought a house, been working with my husband to remodel said house, finished my grad program, started a new career, bought a puppy and thus became a "dog mom..." The list goes on. I now have to pay bills, make sure that there's food to eat, cook meals every day so my husband and I eat healthy rather than resorting to fast food or take out, keep the lawn mowed, balance work and life outside of work, keep vet appointments for Rika, etc. I'm sure you have a crazy busy life as well as a list of responsibilities a mile long that came with your step into adulthood. And many of you have thrown kids into the mix. HELLO?!!! Props to you mama's out there. I have NO idea how you do it.
Sunday, September 23, 2018
Monday, May 14, 2018
Life Is A Little Messy...Or A LOT Messy
I can remember the very first time I made the comment to my mama that life is messy. She gave me this inquisitive look, and then very sweetly asked, "Do you really think so?"
Yes.
Yes, I do. I very much so do. I feel like life is on this continuum where it can go from just a little messy to a whole LOT of messy, and sometimes it can switch from one end of the continuum to the other in zero to sixty.
Now, granted... At the time that my mama and I first had this conversation, I was a single woman...living at home with my parents...working full-time...in grad school...and "raising" a giant Great Pyrenees mix fur ball that I lovingly named "Sophi." I was also trying (although not too hard) to have some kind of a social life. So, I had a little bit of messy (maybe borderline crazy) going on, but probably not to the extent that I feel I have going on now. And...all of my messy is probably self-inflicted. Ha!
Just a little under 2 months shy of 2 years ago, I met my husband for the very first time. We had met online through Match.com, emailed back and forth for maybe 2-3 days, exchanged phone numbers, and agreed to meet up at Timberlake Playhouse. Our first date is proof enough that life is messy...
I got off work at 5, rushed home, planning how much time I had for a shower, to get dressed, etc before I had to leave the house to make it to Timberlake on time. Well, I pulled into my driveway and those plans were shot down quicker than a clay pigeon. I ended up cooking dinner for my brother, his wife, and his sister-in-law, nixing the shower, throwing on a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt and running out the door, speed-demoning my way to Mt. Carroll. We met up, sat through an...interesting...play, and then decided we would go get ice cream. However, we ended up in DIFFERENT towns! I knew he was a keeper when he didn't give up then and there and actually found me in the town I had mistakenly plunked myself in. We rushed into Hardee's 5 minutes before closing, ordered our ice cream, and walked the town until we found a cute little bench to sit down at (which I am sad to say is no longer there). We ended up talking until about 2 in the morning, when I suddenly realized what time it was and that I needed to get home. (Can you believe he asked me out on a second date yet that night!!! No shower. Bad at directions. Awkward. My, oh my... I do love that man!!)
To make a story short, I knew he was my forever love that night (as crazy as it may sound). We dated for about 4 months, were engaged for 2 weeks, and then got married on a Tuesday afternoon at 1 p.m. at the courthouse.
When we first got married, we were living in a one bedroom apartment with a chain smoker next to us and drug dealers below us. The apartment had black mold growing in almost every room, only half of the heaters worked, the stove...maybe 1 or 2 of the burners worked. So, needless to say, we were ready to get out of that slum. About 3 or 4 months into marriage, we bought a house. But it wasn't just any house. It was the kind that you completely gut and build back up. And we lived in it!! (We're still living in it, actually.) And then we bought a puppy. I finished school. I started a new career. Justin went back to school...etc. Living amongst the chaos at its finest, I tell you.
This is our every day. It's messy. Sometimes it's more messy than others, but it's messy nevertheless. And it's ours. All ours. And you know what? There's no one I'd rather do this messy life with than my husband. I'm so grateful that he puts up with my messes and that he made the decision that he wanted his mess and my mess to be ours.
Love you, baby!!
Yes.
Yes, I do. I very much so do. I feel like life is on this continuum where it can go from just a little messy to a whole LOT of messy, and sometimes it can switch from one end of the continuum to the other in zero to sixty.
Now, granted... At the time that my mama and I first had this conversation, I was a single woman...living at home with my parents...working full-time...in grad school...and "raising" a giant Great Pyrenees mix fur ball that I lovingly named "Sophi." I was also trying (although not too hard) to have some kind of a social life. So, I had a little bit of messy (maybe borderline crazy) going on, but probably not to the extent that I feel I have going on now. And...all of my messy is probably self-inflicted. Ha!
Just a little under 2 months shy of 2 years ago, I met my husband for the very first time. We had met online through Match.com, emailed back and forth for maybe 2-3 days, exchanged phone numbers, and agreed to meet up at Timberlake Playhouse. Our first date is proof enough that life is messy...
I got off work at 5, rushed home, planning how much time I had for a shower, to get dressed, etc before I had to leave the house to make it to Timberlake on time. Well, I pulled into my driveway and those plans were shot down quicker than a clay pigeon. I ended up cooking dinner for my brother, his wife, and his sister-in-law, nixing the shower, throwing on a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt and running out the door, speed-demoning my way to Mt. Carroll. We met up, sat through an...interesting...play, and then decided we would go get ice cream. However, we ended up in DIFFERENT towns! I knew he was a keeper when he didn't give up then and there and actually found me in the town I had mistakenly plunked myself in. We rushed into Hardee's 5 minutes before closing, ordered our ice cream, and walked the town until we found a cute little bench to sit down at (which I am sad to say is no longer there). We ended up talking until about 2 in the morning, when I suddenly realized what time it was and that I needed to get home. (Can you believe he asked me out on a second date yet that night!!! No shower. Bad at directions. Awkward. My, oh my... I do love that man!!)
When we first got married, we were living in a one bedroom apartment with a chain smoker next to us and drug dealers below us. The apartment had black mold growing in almost every room, only half of the heaters worked, the stove...maybe 1 or 2 of the burners worked. So, needless to say, we were ready to get out of that slum. About 3 or 4 months into marriage, we bought a house. But it wasn't just any house. It was the kind that you completely gut and build back up. And we lived in it!! (We're still living in it, actually.) And then we bought a puppy. I finished school. I started a new career. Justin went back to school...etc. Living amongst the chaos at its finest, I tell you.
This is our every day. It's messy. Sometimes it's more messy than others, but it's messy nevertheless. And it's ours. All ours. And you know what? There's no one I'd rather do this messy life with than my husband. I'm so grateful that he puts up with my messes and that he made the decision that he wanted his mess and my mess to be ours.
Love you, baby!!
Welcome To My Blessed Mess
Welcome to my little world, my blessed mess if you will.
For those of you who don't know me (or at least do not know me well), let me take a few minutes to introduce you to myself and Living This Beautiful Disarray.
I started blogging, albeit far from consistently, in college. A dear, sweet friend of mine suggested it to me, although I must admit that I don't remember why. Nevertheless, this is my third blog that I've started. I can't remember what the first one was. The second one is still up and running. And today, I'm starting this one.
Good question.
Well... The first one... I obviously don't remember much about other than I knew that I didn't like it. So I deleted it. The second one is chalked full of life lessons I've learned along the way, some frustrations that I've had. It's more of the discernment and wisdom kind of blog and is still fully live and active if you want to hop on over to it (https://throughthesegreeneyes-angela.blogspot.com). And this one... Well, this one is more so about me, my life. The small things. The big things. The journeys. The adventures. The crafts. And the hilarious mishaps that occur along the way.
So who am I?
I am a daughter. I am the only daughter. I am the middle child. I am an athlete. I am a pianist...and a vocalist... I am a nurse. I am a nurse practitioner. I am a crafter: I crochet; I sew; I paint. I am a cook and a baker. I am a coffee lover. I am a home owner. I am an auntie to the cutest five munchkins. I am mama to a spoiled rotten German Shepherd and a lazy Great Pyrenees. I am a wife. I am a Christian.
I am these things, but so much more.
And this...
This is my little world. This is my blessed mess.
So, welcome.
But I warn you...enter at your own risk. Muahaha!
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